Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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