well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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