I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
