xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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