Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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