Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
