im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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