Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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