No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
