Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
