I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
