if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
