i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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