Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
