dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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