im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
