It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
