omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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