Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
