How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
