I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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