No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
