Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
