Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
