the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
