Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
