Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
