i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
