Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
