This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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