Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
