If i come over, it means nothing
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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