if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dick very happy bro
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
