Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Someone stole a lamp last night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
