Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
