His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
