we're blogging at a bar
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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