Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
