can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
