somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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