i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
