I'm really into asian looking animals
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
