Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
