WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
two words: eviction party
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
