the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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