Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
