zippers are such a cool invention
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
