mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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