Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
