the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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